i just hate how i have to listen to her bitch and moan all the time, and when i finally complain to her she asks me me to leave. like what the hell? i’m so angry right now i could cry. i mean i just gave myself a bruise because i repeatedly stabbed myself with a dull pen to release the anger (i can’t bottle it up, even if i wanted to). i know, i know. ‘she is psycho.’ i’ve come to terms with that when i was suicidal, who cares. which brings me to mention - i told my sister about my past suicidal thoughts and she was all blase about it. WTF, yo? i finally open up to you, and you don’t respond to shit.
another thing - i hate how she’s all giddy and fake. in front of her girlfriends she’s all nice. she talked about my paintings, and said in front of her girlfriends, ‘yea merc why don’t you paint me something?’. i promptly gave her my favorite painting - a sunset seascape. as soon as her girlfriend leaves, what do i see? my favorite painting tossed on my desk and no other mention of my art. why so cruel?
i guess i’m just really frustrated with my life right now. the library is charging me for things i already returned, so i have to go there and make a case about it tomorrow. it pisses me off. my girlfriend and i don’t have many of the same interests anymore, and neither of us are willing to really make an effort. Rent is due and i cant cover. my performances are not on point… i guess i’m just sick of it. i better quit now before my emo -ness gets out of hand.